when is a good time?

cruelshoes · Joined: 23 Sep 2005 Posts: 4059 Location: Washington State

Since we just had a baby a month ago, I feel like I can answer this one. Very Happy

True, you are never really ready. And even when you think you are ready, your bills will expand so you are not ready anymore. But it always seems to work itself out.

I like Suze Orman, and one of the things she advocates is whenever you are going to make a big purchase (house, car, etc.), figure out how much it is going to cost you per month. Then you put that amount of money aside each month for 6 months. If you fall short even one month you are not ready. If you don't, you have 6 months of $ saved up for your down payment. Maybe your hubby would go for that idea.
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-Colleen

Diagnosed 8/05 via bloodwork and biopsy
11-YO son diagnosed 11/05 via bloodwork and biopsy

daughteroftheking · Joined: 29 Nov 2004 Posts: 261 Location: Virginia

It's nice to know we aren't alone! Thanks for your response...right now our goal is for me to get a job & finish paying off my college loans...then we (hopefully) will start trying to have a child. If we don't do this we will be well into our 30's and pushing 40 as well before kids & I really don't want that. My dream "job" has been to be a mom, so I know what you mean! Its great to have support from others going through the same thing!!!
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GF/WF B-Day: 11/22/2002

SoIhaveAdisease · Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 174 Location: Central Alabama

I can understand the questions.

I agree with MrsP- it IS a highly personal question, and one we haven't figured out yet for ourselves either. When people are overly nosey- I've gotten to where I point blank tell them they've crossed a line and that is too personal of an area to discuss. The only people who matter to me in the discussion of having kids are God, me, and my husband. That's it.

We are hoping to try to go for adoption in a couple of years. DH is 26- so I would LOVE it if we could have a child before he turns 30, but even if we don't- I still hope for a child one day.

Good luck!

bud7-10 · Joined: 05 Jul 2006 Posts: 368

SoIhaveAdisease,

Thank you. I have been having trouble with how to answer the question when we will have a baby. When I was dx'ed my doc suggested I wait 4 or 5 years or so to allow my body to completely heal and run a check to make sure my vitamin and thyroid levels are ok before trying for a baby. (I got sick to the point that I didn't leave the house most days and that went on for several years. I need to get my health back before we consider kids.) I told my family about this, and still have had to try to figure out how to answer the question. It makes me very uncomfortable and a little sad. Yeah, my parents want grandkids, but given their history of understanding and compassion with me and health issues and CD, I could only imagine how they'd treat a CD grandchild. And, DH and I aren't sure one way or another if we want to have kids!
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Wheat-free and egg-free since 10/1999.
GF since CD dx 5/2005.
Many food allergies.

ostrich · Joined: 30 Mar 2006 Posts: 5404 Location: Nebraska

<rant> I wish parents would stop being so pushy for grandkids. I know they're anxious, and at the beginning it's cute, but damn! I'm going to keep adopting cats just to piss them off! Laughing

</rant>

Bud brings up some good points: if you're still having problems with the GF diet you'll also get the time to heal while you're trying to find a job.
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Ostrich :>--O==={

Time falls away, but these small hours
These little wonders still remain

mrsppmrxky · Joined: 09 Oct 2004 Posts: 1789 Location: GF Kitchen

bud7-10 · Joined: 05 Jul 2006 Posts: 368

jayhawkmom · Joined: 19 Apr 2006 Posts: 851 Location: Midwest, USA

I agree, there is no perfect time to have children. Our first was a complete surprise. In fact, he was so much a surprise that he was actually AT our wedding. Embarassed

When my dh and I walked down the isle, I was 4 months preggers.

We were newlyweds, I had to move half way across the country and away from my entire family and life as I knew it, to be with him. Dh was a college student (barely 21) when we were first married. And, we had NO money, honey. But, our little guy was coming into this world whether we had the means to support him or not. And, we did everything we could to make it work. We scrimped, we saved, we cut coupons... everything we could think of.

Here we are, almost 9 years later... we have 3 children, we own our home, we have 2 decent vehicles, and we do well for ourselves. We aren't rich in the monetary sense, but our children are our lives. And, our lives could never have felt complete without them.

I agree, you need to pray about it, ask for guidance. But, if you wait for the perfect time, you'll be waiting forever. So, sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns, and just go with it.

My very best wishes to you!!!

daughteroftheking · Joined: 29 Nov 2004 Posts: 261 Location: Virginia

I appreciate your comments! I totally agree with you jayhawkmom, that you can never be totally ready and have the perfect time to have a child. You have a child and you just make it work at whatever stage in life you are at. Now, if I could only get my husband to realize this and not think we have to have all of our ducks in a row so to speak. He wants me to have all my college loans paid off, want us to be financially stable for the future (enough in savings & retirement, as well as having a better paying job since the job he has now he says we couldn't make it on with kids). If I get a good paying job I could see the possibility of the school loans being paid off within the next 2-3 years. The other stuff...I dunno. I just want him to come to the point where he can see that everything doesn't have to be "perfect" (because it never will be) before we can even start to think about having kids. I know that I would like to have kids before I'm in my 30's & 40's. So we'll see what happens! Hopefully it will all work out in time.....
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GF/WF B-Day: 11/22/2002